At Random
Posted on August 11, 2008 with No Comments
A friend of mine is going to malaysia. She’s gonna work there and she’s gonna earn 4 times the amount of what I’m earning here.
She’s become part of the large amount of filipinos who’s willing to work outside and help their family. or better yet help themselves.
The situation is not alarming, I have to say it is beyond that. It is disturbing, not because more and more of them are leaving, it is because more and more of them are having a better life than me and a milion other filipinos.
While I pay taxes every payday most of them do not, thus earning more than me having to earn what their earning for a month in 5 years, the thought alone makes me want to puke.
It makes on realize how much harder to be mad at oneself than the politicians and the people who don’t give a lick of concern for their taxes which our government steals to each and everyone.
What’s more disconcerting is the fact that instead of trying to help myself I even have to join in the group of taxpayers or better yet (tax-givers-to-the-criminals) or else I become poorer by the second.
I am not writing this to rant about “If you’re a middle class who doesn’t give a shit about how your government works, then how about how much taxes your government spends for their airplane tickets to bring their families to the Olympic games”
No I am not writing this for the sake of those working in the farms whose landlords continue to take advantage of, no forget it you can never let me write about something that I cannot do something about not without a gun and a bomb in my hands.
I am writing this because I am resigned to the idea that I will get out of this country the first chance I get. Not because I want to earn more or live in another place but because I don’t want to little by little hate my being a Filipino.
I want to leave with good memories of my country, to say to other nationalities that we tried and failed because we were stomped shut by our own class, religion, education and fellow Filipinos.
No I don’t want to arrive at the conclusion and say that I feel sorry for being a Filipino, at least leave me that thought to be proud of.
Leaving is like a medicine, it leaves you heady and numb for awhile but you see a better picture of what you left behind, perhaps a clearer perspective on trying to figure out if its’ best to go back or not.
It’s not far from over but sometimes in my dreams I see myself not dying here. Of having to look at old photo albums and reminisce about how green the mountains of Isabela are and how blue the beaches of Bohol.
Suffice to say I don’t remember any quotes by our National Hero Jose Rizal about having to leave the country for good. But I can remember the time he left for Cuba before the time he was captured and killed at Luneta.
He might have had better reasons or else he would’ve stayed longer and died still.
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